Firm Foundation

I took a poetry class earlier this summer where we spent time studying several different themes about life. We were asked over the course of the class to start thinking considerably hard about the virtues we personally believe are the most important to portray and the ones we feel shape who we are. I thought this was going to be easy, but it honestly took a lot of reflection and self-assessment. You can be someone who writes or talks about what it means to live a good life, but putting those thoughts and beliefs into action is where the real proof lies. I think everyone has a slim list of morals and traits they feel are the most important regarding the way they live their life, but, what’s sad is how much slimmer that list gets when we realize how many we actually put into action. 

We all know that quote, “your actions define your character”. While I agree, there is something about this quote I never truly resonated with. Your actions should be natural, you shouldn’t do things just to look or come off a certain way. Instead, I believe, "do not let your actions define your character, but let your character define your actions". Your character is the foundation in which you stand upon, your character determines what you do and how you live. 

In no particular order, I thought I would share my list with all of you to hold myself accountable for the way I hope to live and to also hope that some of you can take something away from this. 

1. It is so much more important to be kind than it is to be liked. You’re going to come across a lot of people who are very different from you and as humans it is natural to make a judgment about someone even within the first couple of seconds. People can be cruel and critical for no apparent reason, but before you make a judgment, try to figure out first, why? Just one simple act of kindness can speak volumes to the life of another person. It is so much more respected and admired to show kindness rather than stooping down to a level of such immaturity, insincerity and cruelty because you are too concerned with with what people will think if you go against a crowd. Kindness will never leave a negative impact on someone; kindness will not hurt your ego or your pride.

2. Everyone on this earth has a purpose, no matter how big or how small. This is one I can’t stress enough. We have to stop judging and looking at certain people as if their existence is so much less important than another. Whether you matter to the lives of some or many, to succeed in making an impact in just one persons life means that you matter. It is such a beauty that not one person on this earth is exactly alike. Our minds think, understand, create and comprehend things so differently and there are so many things to be learned and appreciated from what goes on in another persons head. Appreciate people for who they are and have the curiosity to discover what their purpose is because every single persons existence matters in order for God’s view to go as planned. 

3. Pure joy is found in things that are not tangible. Life should be measured, lived and defined by the experiences you have, the relationships you build, the memories you make, the hearts you impact, and truly by the moments in which you feel the utmost of gratitude. Make a list of all the things you would be truly heartbroken over if they were taken from you today. While materialistic things are blessings, if you strongly rely on them for your happiness then I encourage you to seriously question what kind of life you are living. Joy is all around you...in people, in nature, in adventure. Immerse yourself into it and be known not for what you own but for all the experiences where you at least attempted to live life to the absolute fullest.

4. Sometimes where you are is not to benefit yourself, but to benefit someone else. A lot of the time we ask ourselves, “why is this happening?”, “what did I do to deserve this?”, or we complain about how things aren’t fair. Not everything in this life is about your well being or to benefit you. Sometimes we are placed in situations where we have to put aside our feelings in order to cater to someone else’s needs. Be understanding, even if it means resting in your own discomfort. Sometimes the sacrifices you make are for the influence, impact and benefit of another person. Be selfless, people will remember you for it and you will be stronger because of it. 

5. Never apologize, be embarrassed or ashamed for the way you feel. This is something that can potentially be so dangerous. We live in a world where people are so afraid to show their real emotions because society does not approve of weakness. People bottle up emotions because they think their problems are insignificant compared to someone else’s who might "seem" larger. You CANNOT compare pain just like you cannot compare happiness. If you are feeling a certain way, if your heart hurts and if something is preventing you from seeing the beautiful person that you are then those feelings matter. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a heart that works, your sensitivity is your armor. 

6. Not forgiving someone else only hurts yourself more. People are going to hurt you, you are going to experience loss, you are going to make mistakes. But holding onto a grudge or a failure prevents you from living a happy life because of the enormous weight it puts onto your shoulders. You can contemplate and go over and over the pain in your head as much as you want, but feeling sorry for yourself will not fix things and it will not make you feel better. Choose to forgive, because not forgiving someone does not do anything for you nor for the growth of another person.

7. Positivity travels far beyond just the result it has on your personal self. It feels great to be positive, but it feels even better to be around positive people. Life is hard as it is, but nothing truly effects your day more than the attitude you decide to wake up in. This is a big one. The way your life goes solely depends on the way you live it. 

I know this post is long, so thank you to those of you who read it through. After doing this exercise, I realized how seriously important it is to take the time to think about some of the things in which you believe most. By doing so, you will get a better direction of where you want your life to go and you will discover things you never knew existed in the depths of you. One of the biggest things I’ve learned this year is that the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift”, and God has given you so many qualities that have the ability to change the world for the better! Your knowledge, your heart, your character and your being are all gifts given from God so that they can be given to the world. 

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” -Ephesians 2:10